WORLD RELIGIONS:

* TOISM: Shit happens, go with the flow.
* HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.
* HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.
* ISLAM: Shit happening is the will of Allah.
* ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
* EXISTENTALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
* BUDDHISM: When shit happens, is it really shit?
* CONFUCIANISM: Confucius says, "Shit happens".
* PROTESTANTISM: Shit won't happen if you work harder.
* CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserved it.
* JEHOVAN'S WITNESSESS: No shit happens until Armaggedon, and it won't happen to us.
* UNITARIAN: What is this shit?
* MORMON: Shit happens again & again & again.
* JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?
* PENTACOSTALISM: Praise the shit!
* ATHEISM: There is no shit!
* NEW AGE: Shit happens and it happens to smell good if you open your heart to it.
* RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.